Tuesday, Aug. 26, 2008

Program pairs single mothers with mentors

Leah Chege cried every day before she gave birth. She came to the United States from Kenya in 2006, but the idea of becoming a mother this summer without help made her feel more lonely than ever.

“I wanted a mother figure because I didn’t have my mother here,” Chege said.

With the help of Catholic Charities’ “Mother to Mother” program, Chege was paired with Cathy Ford, a mentor mother. Ford was holding Chege’s hand when Chege, 23, gave birth last month to her son, Ibrahim.

“I can’t even tell you everything she has provided for me,” Chege said. “She shows me how to do almost everything. She can’t take the place of my mom, but she’s always there.”

Ford and Chege celebrated their new friendship at a spa night offered by Catholic Charities on Monday. It was a night of pampering designed for struggling mothers and the women who mentor them through the program. The spa night is an annual event and part of the overall goal of “Mother to Mother” to empower women, program manager Carla Golden said.

“The idea is that they feel good or feel better about themselves,” Golden said.

Women got haircuts, manicures, massages and makovers. All of the services were donated by members of the community. The spa night helped Carol Goss, who works two jobs to support her 18-month-old daughter. She frequently talks to her mentor mother about finances or parenting advice. They go out to lunch together, and Thomas is always available by phone. Most of the time, Thomas is there to listen when she is stressed out, Goss said.

“She offers me support I haven’t had,” Goss said. “While some might look down on me for my decisions, I know she will be there. It’s good to know there is someone there to get me through even if you have made bad decisions.”

Goss doesn’t even think about getting a manicure or a massage, so she savored the rare opportunity with her mentor.

“I know when I was a single mother, I didn’t have time to do this,” Thomas said. “I needed to pay the bills or needed a baby sitter.”

The spa night is offered because such options are a rare luxury for many of the mothers, Golden said. Many of the women who attended Monday are job hunting, Golden said.

“Hopefully this will give them a fresh haircut to help them feel good about walking into a job interview,” Golden said.

“Mother to Mother” has been around since the 1980s and is offered in Lawrence and Topeka as well.

The program includes about 46 mothers in Johnson County. The mothers usually live below the poverty level and are paired with mentors based on the goals of the mothers and the skills of the mentors, Golden said. Though offered through Catholic Charities, one does not need to be Catholic to be a part of the program, Golden said.

Ford said she was an “empty nester” looking for a chance to volunteer. She was particularly interested in helping with babies, she said. She found a perfect match in working with Chege, she said.

“I enjoy children so much and wanted to project that to her — to enjoy every moment with her son and not let it seem like a big hairy chore,” Ford said. “I think we’re building a very nice relationship. There is a lot of trust being built, a real blessing, better than I ever expected.”

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